M3 - Understanding Feedback

Final Pitch -



Questions asked in the Pitch

1. Have you told us the genre, Matthew? 2:18
It is a comedy mockumentary drama with the theme being about the trials of teenagers and having my characters moral compasses tested whilst surrounded by peers who may have their moral compasses spun differently.

2. Can you explain to me again what the significance of the drugs is on how it relates to the pandemic? 24:18
The drugs and the virus are separate events within the series, the drugs are the main disruption and the virus is to put the characters under pressure so we start to see them being pushed and faced with stress and how they react to this, then finding the drugs on top of the already heightened stress levels will see the characters pushed to their extreme.

3. What do the drugs actually do? Are they recreational or pharmaceutical? 24:56
The drugs will be recreational so it will be something along the lines of cocaine or ketamine which they find.

4. Do you feel like you can handle the topic of a virus sensitively enough and it still be funny? 25: 50
The topic of the virus will be very sensitive the only thing I've changed is the name and we won't hear much about it, its only purpose is just to put pressure on the characters and give them stress, I won't be making jokes of any deaths or anything, its just there to pressurize the whole situation and for the audience to see my characters pushed to their limits of stress and mental strength.

5. Do you imagine a society in your drama having the same response to the virus as in real life? 26:28
Yes, it will be a similar response to how the real world dealt with it, with different groups having different ideas and the population not taking it seriously until it's directly affecting them.

6. Do they want to sell the drugs? 33:14
Cadwell Walker does want to sell the drugs but he faces the moral dilemma as his journey throughout the TV series is finding happiness without money so he knows how much money he can make from selling the drugs but he also knows he doesn't need to sell the drugs for money be happy. Cadwell is the only one who thinks about taking them with the purpose of selling them however each member of the group has different ideas/intentions of what to do with the drugs.

7. Do we witness them attempting to sell the drugs? 33:38
We don't see them trying to sell the drugs as the dilemma is internal within the group instead of one overriding decision.

8. Does lockdown happen within the last episode? 33: 58
Not completely, the last episode is based on the day that we have been told we will be going into lockdown from tomorrow so it is a final ultimatum for the group, this then again puts pressure on the situation as they have a final day to solve what they will do to get rid of the drugs.

9. Are you going to make the documentary filming team a regular feature or is it going to be the occasional questions? 34: 50
Yes, for example in the opening scene you see the documentary team filming Miles Elland and then you hear the voice of Ben Boondock saying "Oh you found him", so we create a relationship with the documentary crew but we never see them so it is almost as if the characters are talking to the audience. Having the characters interact with the documentary crew also allows for my TV series to breach the fourth wall within filming which I think creates a greater bond between the characters and the audience, further satisfying the needs of personal relationship.

10. What did you say the virus was called? 35:42
Its called the BOL-X virus.

11. Did you say there was going to be a separate authoritative narrator as-well? 36:10
Yes, it would just be one narrator who is a disembodied voice who ties up and loose ends and introduces new scenes.

12. Is the authoritative narrator going to be played quite straight or are you going for a Little Britain caricature style narration? 36:54
The narrator playing it will be straight and I will work comedy into the fact they are playing it straight and then they will say things which you wouldn't expect to hear from a character playing it straight.

13. Do you have plans for a second season? 37:30
I would happily do a second season which would take the form of lockdown and we would be able to see the ins and outs of what the characters get up to in this time but it would have to be based near the end of lockdown as out would not be very interesting watching these characters simply sit in their houses.

The Feedback I Received from the Client:

Additional Delivery feedback:

Positives

1. You were really organised and had everything ready and accessible on time – well done
2. Ideas justified well and demonstrate detailed, quality research – great work
3. Supporting documents enhanced your delivery 
4. You were able to answer questions in a mature, professional manner
5. You responded positively to feedback and suggestions
6. Thank you for looking professional  - wearing a branded BBC tie and shirt

Room for improvement

1. The first slide of the PowerPoint would have benefitted from incorporating your title font to add branding.

      I agree with this point however I did not think of this when creating my pitch powerpoint as I agree it would have looked better if the font title on my poster and the title font of my pitch power point were the same.

Content feedback

Positives

1. Good fit for BBC 3 and the target audience
2. Really well thought out and detailed ideas that were well expressed
3. Excellent range of supporting documents that really enhanced the idea – The poster and social media example were really nice tasters of brand.
4. Script is really effective in quickly establishing docu-drama style along side the dynamic between the characters and hints at their personalities. 

Room for improvement

1. Drugs and virus are creating drama and conflict in your narrative – explain in more detail, the balance between them – where is the primary disruption?

The primary disruption in my TV series is my characters finding the drugs as this is when they face a direct problem which they have to solve whereas the virus is more of a secondary disruption as it does not directly effect there lives but has more of an affect on the environment around them so disrupts this.

2. 7 days is too short a timeline - Look back on the last few months and consider the timeline before and during the Lockdown in order to re-adjust the timespan of your docu-drama?

I have thought about this and seven days is a short amount of time for the audience to connect with the characters and then to have believable character development so I did some research into how long it takes to develop a new habit which takes 66 days for a new habit to become automatic. I want my characters to develop well and realistically so the first have to unlearn their bad habit and then relearn in so this would approximately take 132 days for the whole process which is about four and a half months. I won't start developing my characters straight away in the TV series so I would put the new time scale for my TV series as six months as I believe this time scale provides enough time for the audience to see the characters before they develop, watch them begin to develop and then see them after they have developed. 

3. If the ‘finding of the drugs’ are main disruption, consider making it happen earlier than episode four?

I agree with this and my initial thoughts are to swap episode 4, where they find the drugs with episode 3, when they are at Leo Thomas's house. This means they find the drugs in episode three on a school trip then the next episode ( Episode 4 ) they are at Leo Thomas's house with the drugs top discuss what to do with them and then when Ben Boondock breaks Leos Thomas's fence a-joining to his neighbours this will create more of a scare for my characters as they think the neighbour may call the police and they have possession of drugs.

4. Take another look at episode breakdown and think how the virus and it’s impact can cause more direct disruption and conflict to narrative: e.g. Constant hand washing causes one protagonist to accidentally wash love interest’s number off his hand. Or Lockdown happens on same day as scheduled first date of Caldwell and Amy.
I will definitely look into this so that the secondary disruption of the virus does have an effect on the characters that we can see beside causing them to feel under pressure. Initial thoughts would be the virus could have an effect on how some of the characters travel to school as it would effect public transport making them think of alternative solutions to getting to school, for example hitchhiking or leaving early to walk over rough terrain. Cadwell will also try to profit from the virus and we will see him trying inventive ways to scam people of their money. The virus will also effect sports so Miles Elland has the chance to become frustrated and short tempered due to not being able to play rugby. Harry Williams has the option to help people who can't get out during this time or he might choose to not help people as he doesn't want to over extend himself but it will all add too the character development.